Mom to Mom: After the Kids go to Bed

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READING TIME: 4 min.

Having kids can definitely change the dynamic of a marriage. Suddenly date nights are a challenge, spontaneity goes out the window, and romance can be hard to find. In this Mom to Mom, we are facing those challenges that new parents have as a couple. Although we are still new at this, we are sharing a little peek into what our marriage looks like as new parents.

What did a typical date night look like before kids?

Lauren: Start out with a nice dinner at a cool restaurant. Maybe stroll around a fun part of town, catch a movie, stop by a tasty dessert place, and call it a night. Of course this was all prefaced by hours of getting ready with just the right makeup, rockin’ hair, and maybe even a new outfit. Friday date nights were always something to look forward to!

Casey: Our dates looked pretty similar to what they are now- dinner, movie, shopping, what-have-you- but I guess we were just able to stay out much later. When my bedtime of 10:00 hits, I’m ready to head home.

What does a typical date night look like now?

L: If we are not fortunate enough to have a friend watch Kyler while we hurriedly run to dinner and back home, we usually plan an evening in, cooking together and enjoying a meal. We try to find a challenging and interesting recipe and shop at a fancy store (or the farmers market) together to pick up the ingredients. We try to have fun cooking together and enjoying our final product (usually) with some candles and wine. We might even throw a game of cards in the mix from time to time. Wild, I know.

C: While we don’t mind going out and leaving our daughter with a sitter, our most priceless times have been with her on a daytime outing or something. I wrote about one of those times a few weeks ago when we went to Bishop Arts District. I still feel like I get to connect with my hubby even when it’s the 3 of us (usually!)

How do you make time for each other (aside from sitting on the couch watching the latest Netflix)?

L: As much as possible, we try to actually sit at the table together to eat dinner, instead of eating while watching TV or a movie. Although it can be relaxing to just watch TV, we always have such a better time connecting over dinner at the table. We also always make it a point to go to bed together. This can be hard when Cody has to stay up late studying or working on something, but sometimes he will even stay in bed with me talking, and get back to work when I fall asleep.

C: Gabe usually has Fridays off so we try to get out and do something on those days- go to lunch, visit a new place or have quality floor time with Halle. After Halle’s asleep, we do have time where we turn the TV off and catch up on life.

As a new mom, what are some things your husband does that really means a lot to you?

L: Taking the baby to give me some alone time is always nice. I also really appreciate it when he tells me how he appreciates everything I do for our son. It reminds me that all this poop-handling and highchair-cleaning are meaningful and priceless.

C: I do love it when he praises me as a mom. It’s so sweet to hear him tell me I’m a great mom. One of his strengths, however, is showing acts of kindness. So he is quick to offer to run to the store for that one desired item or to catch up on laundry without being asked.

What is your plan for keeping the romance alive as more kids come into the equation?

L: Convincing all the grandparents to move to Dallas so we can have more date nights and even nights away. This is totally logical.

C: I think once you’re comfortable leaving your first born overnight (which we are- any takers?) the rest will follow suit. We’ll make plans to get away for a weekend ever-so-often- even if it’s just around the corner.

 

As parents, maintaining a happy and healthy marriage should always be a priority for our family. Here are a few local resources on doing just that:

  • Anthem: Strong Families – a North Texas non-profit helping to build strong marriages and strong families.
  • Weekend to Remember– These are great marriage conferences put on by Family Life Ministries. This comes to Dallas once a year, but speaking from experience, this is TOTALLY worth traveling to!
  • Home Pointe– At Lakepoint Church in Rockwall, is a great resource for marriage and family

 

1 COMMENT

  1. I totally missed this post when it went live. Love it and so true. We’re still working on this a year later. It’s so tough! Matt and I go on a lot of dates but I feel like the romance is left on the restaurant table. As soon as our house door opens and we see dishes in the sink, laundry on the floor and Caroline starts whining bc we woke her up at the sitters or whatever the case is…seee ya romance 🙂

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