Mommy Wars: Stay in Your Lane

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As a culture, more than ever before it is easy to compare yourself with other Moms.  

Her kids are always so well-behaved. 

She always looks so put together.

I wish I could bake like her.  

And so on. 

It is downright unhealthy and will always leave you feeling insecure, insufficient, and like a failure.  This is NO WAY to live.

You can’t take Suzy’s organic cooking, Sarah’s Pure Barre work-outs, Amanda’s thriving business, Rachel’s clean house, and Katy’s Pinterest Birthday parties and expect to perform at perfection in each of these categories. The person you aspire to be in each area is DIFFERENT which means… NO ONE is doing it all! This is good news because it gives US permission to be average (or even below average) on some things.  I am NOT a cook.  I am NOT called to homeschool.  I LOATHE working out.  But I LOVE my friends who are good at those things.  Instead of feeling “less than” or bitter, I am happy for them and I no longer hold myself to that standard.  Instead, I focus on the areas that I am naturally gifted and (gasp) actually ENJOY!?!?? I don’t have enough time or energy to waste forcing myself to try and be excellent at something I am flat out not interested in.  Like gardening. No thanks! Instead I will continue to write, do fun crafts with my kids, decorate my house really cute, and throw killer birthday parties.  Those are things I ENJOY and I am already naturally gifted at! 

So I want to challenge you this year to STAY IN YOUR LANE.  Be okay with WHO YOU ARE. Take personal inventory. What are you good at? What do you ENJOY? Stop trying to force yourself to be more like her… and become more YOURSELF.  You are unique and talented and gifted. How boring would this planet be if we were all cookie cutter Moms?  

So next time your neighbor brings you homemade lasagna, instead of feeling obligated to whip something up from scratch to return the favor when you know you hate cooking…. Just smile. Say THANK YOU. Write her a sweet note and move on! She may show her friendship through baking and you may return the favor by watching her kids for 2 hours during a doctor’s appointment the following week.  One is not better than the other. They are just different. 

Let’s stop the Mommy Wars and be Mommy Cheerleaders! Cheer each other on in their unique talents and focus on becoming unashamedly ourselves. YOU BE YOU. 

If you can learn to STAY IN YOUR LANE, I promise you will be happier and your people will too! 

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Abby is a wife to Logan and Mom to Stella (January 2013) and Chloé (March 2015). She was raised in Lake Highlands and moved back after college to pursue her Corporate Marketing career with two major retailers here in Dallas. All her goals and plans changed after a whirlwind weekend in California where she experienced love at first sight with a Frenchman. A year later they were married and moved overseas to embark on a 2 year fairytale living and working in France at a B&B in the French Countryside. After her daughter was born, they made the bittersweet decision to come back to Texas to plant roots. Now she spends her days juggling 2 little girls and running a couple of businesses part-time from home. She enjoys drinking French wine, spends way too much time picking the perfect Emojis for her text messages, refinishing furniture, and is a complete Netflix snob. You can follow her blog Bonjour, Y'all or find her on IG overgramming pics of her darling girls at @mrsfrenchy.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Can I just say that this is the BEST advice you’ll ever hear mommas? I am 53 years old, married for 36 years, home educated and raised 3 wonderful, successful humans and THIS is exactly what you need to hear. Please don’t compare yourself to anyone else, your kids to anyone else’s kids, or most importantly – your husband to any other man. Be your best self, let your kids be who they were created to be, and love your man with everything you got. The world will see your people through your eyes. 🙂 Create the good stuff ladies!

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