I live in a quiet north east Dallas neighborhood. Kids walk to school in the mornings and play in front yards in the afternoon. Neighbors all know each other and on my block, pull chairs into each others front yards to chat at the end of a long week. I am constantly asking neighbors for ingredients I’m missing from dinner and we pass clothes around that don’t fit our kids anymore.
It’s everything we want in a neighborhood and we love raising our family here.
But a few weeks ago, my nightmare became reality. I woke up two weeks ago to the sound of sirens and helicopters. I reached for my phone to find a text from a neighbor: “There’s been a sexual assault a few blocks away. Police are everywhere. They haven’t caught the guy. Make sure your alarm is set and stay inside.”
I jumped out of bed and set our alarm. I sat in our den staring out the windows until my son woke up. We ate a quick breakfast and then quickly got the heck out of dodge. There was no way I was staying in our house alone that day.
Since then, the police have released more details. This was actually the third sexual assault in a two mile radius and the DNA matched for all of them. The women were all attacked late at night or early in the morning, the most recent one the suspect waited until her husband left for work and then broke down her door.
As much as I want to live in my quintessential 1950’s neighborhood where everyone knows my family and kids run free up and down the streets, I have realized that I must face the reality of the world we live in today. No, that does not mean I am going to put bars on all my windows and refuse to let my son play outside.
I am not going to be owned by the fear of what if, but rather I am going be aware of this new reality.
There have been multiple seminars, self defense classes and community forums in Lake Highlands in the last two weeks. I have taken six main points away from each meeting.
1. Don’t get complacent.
All three homes where the assaults occurred had alarm systems but they weren’t set. It’s easy to forget to set the alarm when you are running out of the house with your kids, but we need to make it a priority. I’m good at setting the alarm at night, but we realized there was a gap in our security because we were not resetting it after my husband left for work.
2. Know your neighbors.
In the most recent sexual assault, the woman’s neighbors heard her fighting back and called the police. When she managed to escape, she fled to a neighbors house.
3. Arm yourself.
I’m not necessarily talking about guns here (although if you are comfortable with them and have taken the appropriate safety classes, that is a good option). My husband velcroed mace behind our bed where I can easily reach it so that if the worst happened, I wouldn’t be fumbling around for it under our bed (or worse, not being able to find it because a kid has walked off with it). We also have a giant crowbar on my husbands side of the bed that could easily knock a window out if we needed to run. Wasp spray is a good option as well because it sprays far and stings eyes. The man that installed our alarm system said keeping an air horn under the bed is a good option because it could temporarily distract the suspect and also alert your neighbors. A side note: make sure you know how to use your weapon of choice (mace, pepper spray, crow bar, gun, etc) so that the suspect cannot turn it on you. You can also keep your key fob next to your bed and hit the panic button on your car alarm. After it goes off for a while, people are going to start asking.
4. Report suspicious activity to the police.
They are here for our protection. Don’t assume that someone else has probably already called (that’s usually why I talk myself out of calling the police). Just call and let them determine if they have already checked out the suspicious activity.
5. As terrible as it may feel, run through every scenario in your mind and decide how you would respond.
Some women may freeze in the moment but if you have prepared for the worst and know what to do, gut instinct may just take over. My brother came over to sit with me the day of the last attack and after my son went down for a nap, walked me through every room of the house and made me decide how I would respond to an attacker in every room. It was terrible to imagine those things happening in my house, but I feel prepared and empowered by simply knowing how I would respond.
6. Have a family plan.
Do your kids know what to do when the alarm goes off? My son is too small to know how to react or follow directions, but my husband and I have a plan for what to do if the alarm goes off in the middle of the night. It’s important to sit down with your kids (especially your older ones who can help younger siblings) and create a family response plan. One of our contributors said that her kids know that if the alarm goes off, the oldest gathers all the kids together and they sit in the closet until a parent comes to get them.
We all hope and pray that the worst will never happen, but if it does I want to be prepared to get myself and my family to safety.
What is your family doing to stay safe? Do you have any tips on staying safe in your home?
**Update**
On Tuesday, April 2 the Dallas Police arrested Ceasr Benitez and have since then charged him for the sexual assaults in Lake Highlands; the DNA came in yesterday and he is a match. Many thanks to the Dallas Police Department for their tireless work in arresting this man and allowing our community to get back to normal. While this man is off the streets, it remains important to keep our families safe! The tips in this blog still remain true in our quest to safety in our homes!
