This week, the Dallas Moms Blog contributors have come together to create a series of posts inspired by so many moms who feel alone and lost in this role. We recognize that motherhood isn’t easy, but as we get ready to celebrate Mother’s Day, we embrace this incredible, rewarding journey that even our own moms couldn’t have prepared us for! Join us for this Mother’s Day Series :: “Things My Mom Never Told Me About Being a Mother”
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We are not born mothers, we become mothers.
This became clear to me the day I held my first daughter in my arms. That day I became her mother. This seems like a fairly obvious concept until you really think about it.
From a child’s perspective, mommy is mommy. End of story. She has always been Mom and always will be. You certainly don’t think of the life your mom had before she was your mom. You don’t think of the person she was before she had you.
Before Becoming Mommy
When my girls look up at me, they see their mommy, and they’ve seen me as that since the day they were born. Aside from hearing stories or seeing photos, they won’t know the person I was in my “previous life.”
I loved (most of the time) my job working in advertising in New York City. I loved the wonderful friends my husband and I socialized with. I loved our carefree, get up and go anywhere lifestyle.
It might not be until my girls are mothers themselves when they will realize the magnitude of the sacrifices my husband and I made to create the life we all now enjoy. The things we gave up, the lifestyle changes we made and the old life we left behind when we started our family. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but at that time, those were all major, life-changing decisions.
Understanding My Own Mother
Mother’s Day is a very different holiday to me now. Not that I didn’t appreciate my mother before; I love and admire her deeply, but I see things differently now.
Its not just about sending her flowers or a nice gift and calling to say “Happy Mother’s Day.” I still do those things, of course, but now I realize what it means to BE a mother.
Experiencing motherhood has changed the way I see my own mom. She wasn’t born my mom, she chose to become my mother and accepted the role with unconditional love. She changed her life to make room in it for me. She made hard decisions. Many times she went without. She made sacrifices, and did it all without giving it a second thought.
I truly appreciate her and everything she has done for me and my brothers. I understand now what it means to be absolutely selfless and put your own needs behind those of your children. I understand the word sacrifice. I understand wanting so badly for your children to be healthy, confident, smart and happy. I understand loving something so much it hurts.
So this Mother’s Day, when you are picking out the perfect card, don’t just tell your mom you love her. Tell her why you love her. Tell her thank you.