Did you know 19 percent of women are unable to get pregnant within a year of trying?
I fall well within that category. We struggled for several years before consulting an infertility specialist.
I did the research, I talked to friends that also struggled, I joined the message boards and the infertility groups. I needed answers and info. Even with all the info, there were still things I wish I had known. It’s a lonely time, so I hope these things will help someone else not feel as alone and to be better prepared.
It Feels Like Eternity
“I felt like a failure every month.” A friend of mine told me that, and it’s so true. Every month it chips away at you. Every cycle that results in just a single line on the stick breaks your heart a little more.
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You have to be super flexible. This timeline is not your own. There are so many appointments. You can’t go out of town or really plan anything. You have to be ready and available at all times.
I went to the doctor three times the last week, and each time my follicles were still not big enough. Once the follicles were big enough, I had to take a trigger shot and come back the next day.
Insurance rarely covers any of it. In fact, insurance covered none of our treatment. However, it covered the shot portion for a friend of mine.
It depends on your insurance, but you definitely want to be prepared to pay out of pocket. And it ranges from $1,500 to upwards of $6,000!
You Have Options
There are several options. You don’t have to jump right into IVF (in vitro fertilization). There are “starter” medications that can work immediately or you could fall somewhere in between.
For example, we took Clomid for several months, but it didn’t work for us. We stayed the course and ended with IUI (intrauterine insemination).
You could also go through a simple tubal procedure, and that may be all you need.
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All of the shots and medications increase your hormones — big time. You will feel weepy and sad and angry and a little crazy sometimes. The hormones can simulate what a pregnancy would feel like at the beginning, such as bloating, nausea, mood swings, and exhaustion. It’s all part of the meds you are putting into your body.
It’s a really hard time. You feel alone and like the days are creeping by. The two-week wait is the longest two weeks of your life. (I suggest doing anything and everything that keeps your mind busy, whether that’s reading, a vacation, cooking, or another hobby.)
Infertility is not something a lot of people talk about or even share. I’m quite the opposite and love to talk about it. I hope I can reach that one person who is feeling so alone in her journey and help her feel a little bit better. I would love if you added your perspective as well. Hopefully it reaches those who need it the most!
Great article and another female issue that’s hardly discussed… gets lost in all the celebrations. I wish it was something covered at anju check-ups. I think there’s a lot of shame and isolation felt.
I agree! It’s very rarely discussed. The shame and isolation are so real. We need to be talking about it more to remove all of those stigmas!