Thank You for Being a Friend: Making & Maintaining Friendships

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READING TIME: 4 min.

making friends as a mom

Golden Girls is one of my all-time favorite comfort TV shows when I need something familiar and funny in the background. I remember watching marathons of these witty women in the summers with my mom and sister when it was on TV Land or Nick at Nite. I loved the example of these four women and their thriving, realistic friendships. Four women who were so shockingly different in their backgrounds and personalities, yet they continued to cheer each other on as friends and chosen family. I think we could all take a note from Rose, Blanche, Sophia, and Dorothy when it comes to maintaining and making friends as women and mothers in today’s world. 

Don’t Be Afraid to DIVERSIFY

I think the secret sauce to the Golden Girls foursome is how different they all were in their personalities and preferences. Finding diverse friends from different ages and stages of life can be exciting and add some flavor to your friendship life.

If you’re a mom, I am going to tell you a little secret: Not all of your friends have to be other moms (or moms with kids the same age as yours)! My friends who are single and unmarried have taught me important lessons on maintaining space for myself and my interests while also being a mom.

My friends who have kids older than mine are a source of motherhood mentorship and advice, and my friends with younger kids are a reminder of where I was when my own children were little. I have friends in book clubs, exercise classes, online forums, friends from high school and college—each one of these friendship sources gives me something different and adds diversity to my life as a mother, wife, and most importantly a friend! 

Try something NEW

Are you in a phase of life where you are looking for friends? I’ve been there. Making friends as an adult is HARD, not to mention awkward! Once we leave the world of high school and college, those situational friendships tend to disappear. We no longer have Geometry class with our besties or extracurricular activities together. 

Don’t be afraid to step outside of the box. Try something new with an existing friend or on your own! Our Dallas Moms Book Club is a great place to meet moms and talk about a common fun topic: books. Try a pottery class, dance class, or go to an outdoor concert at the Arboretum.

When I was a new mom and staying at home, I read the book MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend, and to this day that book still provides me with friendship-making inspiration. Soon after reading it, I joined a book club and maintained the consistency of showing up, I tried workout classes to meet other moms, and I made a standing calendar date with my old high school buds to keep up with those friendships.

Hosting doesn’t have to be HARD

Not really feeling like going out to try something new? More comfortable in your own space? Have some friends from different groups over to your house for a fire pit night, wine, coffee…you can even take a virtual class together. CozyMeal is a great resource of local private chefs who will come to your home and teach an in-house cooking class! 

Hosting doesn’t have to be hard or fancy—the formula is quite simple: food + friends + cleaning up your guest bathroom means good times will surely be had by all. As Shauna Niequist says, “Hospitality is when someone leaves your home feeling better about themselves, not better about you.” When you open your home to others to love them and pour into those friendships, only good things can come from there.

Consistency is KEY

Now that you have tried something new, hosted some friends, diversified your friend group…the real magic in the making and maintaining of friendships is to continue to show up! Have some simple standing dates on your calendar (a Tuesday morning walking date, book club on the last Wednesday of the month, etc.) that keep you accountable in showing up. The less you show up, the less you are prioritizing those friendships. Of course, life happens (sick kids!), but when you make time for friends, hold yourself to it. 

Personality Types, Enneagrams, Love Languages, OH MY!

Once your new friendships turn into true blue friendships, things can start to feel a little stagnant. Keep the friendship spark alive by digging deep with each other. One of my favorite things to do with friends is find out what is important to them through their personality types, Enneagram types, and love languages. And having this info in your back pocket is great for gift-giving occasions! 

Married without kids, married with kids, single, dating, whatever: Friends come in all shapes and sizes and personalities. It can be so hard to flex your friend-making and -maintaining muscle when you haven’t used it in a while. But it’s time! Close your computer, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb,” and get out there to connect with people in real life. You won’t regret it. Odds are your friend won’t regret it either, but will thank you for being a friend! 

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