Relying on a New Village When the Old One Is Gone


A family holds hands and walks on a trail outside.Your village can be your family or friends. But sometimes due to relocation or other life circumstances, we have to build new communities and new villages. While this can be daunting, there is so much good from it, but there is some work that you have to put in.

Do Not Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Raise your hand if you feel like an inconvenience asking for help, but will help anyone who needs something? You are my people. I am the same way.

Up until the pandemic, I was usually able to figure it out — until I couldn’t. I had to rely on a friend to watch my son while I went to doctors’ appointments, but also to keep him while I had my baby girl. Asking for help was so hard, but I have to tell you, it made the relationship with my son and this friend so special.

Do not be afraid to ask for help, if you need it. So many people in your village want to help and are literally waiting for you to ask. That time with your kids is so special to them so do not look at it as a burden, look at it as a blessing.

>> RELATED READ :: Recreating Your Village in a Modern World: A Guide to Surviving Pregnancy & Postpartum <<

Choose Your Village Wisely

You know yourself and your kids best, so choose your village wisely. There will be amazing days and hard days.

Choose individuals who you can be your complete authentic self. Choose people who you can drop off a kid that was not changed. Choose your village where you can call and hang out in sweatpants and a t-shirt and just talk while your kids run around. Choose individuals who understand your child or children and are aware of their different needs.

Your village should provide you peace and not stress. Be sure to trust your gut!

>> RELATED READ :: Finding Your “Village” When Family Is Far Away <<

It Takes Time

Don’t forget that building your village is hard work. It takes time to get to know other people and trust them. Have fun building your community and get to know different people. Your village is your community, your people, and those types of relationships takes time. Making friends as an adult takes a lot of time and energy, especially when your hands are full.

As moms, we need the space to not only take care of our kids but also take care of us. Creating and relying on your village does not mean you are weak. It means you are strong and brave. Do not be afraid to open up and reach out to other people to invite into your village, they probably need you, too.


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