It’s not you; it’s me. Okay, that’s a complete fabrication. It’s definitely you. I seem to have had a magnetic pull to poisonous personalities over the past couple of years. I didn’t only have the misfortune of losing one best friend, but three. Perhaps that makes me the common denominator. I did get very sad and focused on internal reflection and finding my own light again. Following my social media accounts, it appears that I have moved on and dream in cartoons while walking around with my contagiously positive outlook on life.
While that is me, that’s not all that there is to me. Sometimes, I am reminded of my ex-best friends, and I get angry. I just want to be mad at the world. That’s my prerogative, and I don’t think I’m alone. With that said, I made a “Petty Betty Playlist” with five songs that I like to listen to when I walk down memory lane and get frustrated. I allow myself this fifteen minutes to mentally become a complete #sasshole. If you ever feel this way, join me in belting out your ex-bestie blues.
Petty Betty Playlist
“Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn. Let the good Lord do his job; you just pray for them.” This has such a great message about taking the higher road and leaning on your Christian values to help get over a bad situation. However, sometimes you don’t want to be the bigger person. My inner villain wants to mean mug my ex-bestie if I ever see her in public and even roll my eyes if I come across another human being with the misfortune of having the same name.
That is why this song is number 1 on my Petty Betty Playlist. The song’s protagonist did take the prayer advice but improvised a little. “I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill. I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to…” Of course, I don’t truly wish anyone actual physical harm, but the song brings out my inner evil giggles.
“Oh, you had me several years ago
When I was still naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me.”
I just want to start by saying if you are reading this article wondering if you were my inspiration for writing this, then this song is dedicated to you. Quit looking in the mirror and worrying about your Insta likes and Facebook hearts. Start listening more than you talk, and try caring about someone other than yourself. Does this sound harsh? Do I sound bitter? Well, I am, and you are allowed to be too. Don’t let your sassy side consume you, but life doesn’t always have to be a highlight reel of sunshine and positivity. Don’t apologize for being real. Pour yourself a glass of wine while listening to this Petty Betty Playlist, then go out into the world happy and do great things. That doesn’t make you fake; it makes you well-rounded. No single human is one emotion all of the time.
When a couple decides to get a divorce, they are typically granted lots of privacy. It’s a taboo topic not to be mentioned while the couple battles legal fees in addition to each other. However, breaking up with a BFF seems to be fair game that typically comes with LOTS of gossip. Everyone wants to know what happened since you were previously inseparable. Some genuinely care while others just want a good dramatic story to share. The downside is that your new enemy probably has some juicy stories from back when you shared secrets that they will eagerly exaggerate the details on to make others start to question your character. That’s why “Backstabber” comes in at #3.
“Honestly, I think it’s kinda funny that you waste your breath talking about me. Got me feeling kinda special. Girl, you’re such a backstabber!”
Often when we lose a best friend, there is a chance that you will lose other friends as collateral damage. Sure, your mutual friends may try to maintain a friendship with both sides, but that typically doesn’t last. It only appears to be successful if they are merely acquaintances. Eventually, a side is chosen, and it hurts. “I tear my heart open; I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much!” What’s worse is when you know they picked the wrong side. Sure, you are a little biased in the situation, but there are good reasons your first friendship ended. I just want to scream that you are next in line to get hurt; run while you still have your dignity.
“I tried to help you once against my own advice. I saw you going down, but you never realized.”
This song is dedicated to the frenemies. They pretend they are your friend. They put you on a pedestal and butter you up with compliments and sometimes actual gifts. However, they are using you because they are competing with you. They want something you have, and once they get it, they will dispose of you and move on to the next unsuspecting victim. We are on to your games; we refuse to be used. “I heard you’re going around playing the victim now, but don’t even begin feeling I’m the one to blame because you dug your own grave!”
It is important to surround yourself with people that inspire you to be a better version of yourself. However, don’t envy them so much that you copy and then discard them. What goes up must come down. Remember when the tables turn, and especially if run in the same circles, that you will inevitably see the same people that you removed from your life so easily. When you need them again, they won’t be there. Therefore, be genuinely KIND to everyone you meet. There is enough room in the world for everyone to achieve success without it being at the expense of others.
“…It makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter.”
Phew! It was therapeutic releasing these emotions. Please leave a comment below with song suggestions on how to extend this “Petty Betty Playlist”. Your adult temper tantrum in the form of a karaoke meltdown, although completely okay and necessary, is now over. It’s time to shift gears and go do awesome acts of kindness in the world. Just remember, “You need a little bit of insanity to do great things!” ~Henry Rollins
For a more positive spin on lost friendships, please check out “Why I’m Breaking Up With My Mom’s Club” by Gabrielle Cullen.