For the last year, I’ve been trying to convince my husband that we should have another baby. He has vehemently refused.
I don’t blame him. I had a very difficult first pregnancy — preeclampsia forced me on hospital bed rest for three weeks, followed by an emergency c-section that delivered my son six weeks early. He spent the first three weeks of his life in the NICU, and it was a scary time for all of us.
The thought of going through all of that again is terrifying.
For a while, I thought I would be ok with only having one child. We get to shower him with love (and surprises from the grocery store). We get to focus our attention fully on his needs. We get to pretend and play and be there for him completely.
When he was one year old, we took him with us on vacation to Paris, France. He took his first trip to Disney World shortly after he turned two. If we have more children, there won’t be the budget for those kinds of things.
But lately, my son has been acting very lonely. He calls the children of our friends his “brothers” and asks to see them and play with them almost daily.
Last week, we had a video call with my sister and her sons, who live out of state, and Andrew sobbed when it was time to hang up with them.
I do my best to make sure that he is loved and I play with him often, but it feels like it isn’t enough.
I’ve talked to my husband about my concerns, and he says that Andrew will get over it and learn to adjust. He won’t budge on the issue of having another child. He says that not only is he afraid that I would have a high-risk pregnancy, he just doesn’t have the energy for another child.
I am having a hard time reconciling my personal feelings of desiring another baby, my feelings about my son wanting companionship, and my husband’s feelings about not wanting another child.
So, moms of only children, do you have any suggestions? How can I help my son transition to being an only child? Will my aching womb get better with time?
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