Looking back on the past year, it is easy to focus on all that I lost, how I had to grapple over and over again with my plans, my hopes, and my expectations having to change on what seemed like a daily basis.
Like so many others, I experienced personal grief on top of uncertainty and overwhelm. 2020 felt like the year that would never end, a perpetual pause on life as I knew it. But at the same time, 2020 taught me to relinquish any notion that I am in control of my life, to take joy in the simple things, and to embrace a slower pace that revolves around the people within my own four walls.
And while I hope that this New Year, with all its promise of a fresh start, is truly different, I also hope to bring that sense of being able to breathe without a million plans and responsibilities fighting for my attention into 2021. I will take greater care in choosing what I say yes to. I will be more intentional in taking the time to rest. I will take more walks with my kids, stopping to examine every stone and insect along the way. I will call that friend, reach out to that person who has been hovering at the back of my mind. I will make space in my life, allowing me to do the things that bring me joy, baking more bread, and spending less time on social media.
Instead of a pandemic pausing my life for me, I will create those pauses myself, knowing that they are ellipses and not periods.