The other day while mindlessly browsing headlines on twitter (trying to avoid eye contact with my toddler for a 30 minute “break”), I saw an article declaring that “chivalry is dead” and that “old-fashioned” chivalry needs to make a comeback. Not only did this article make me count my lucky stars that I’m not dating in the age of Tinder, nothing is more depressing than reading about how smart, independent women just want a guy to call rather than text or (gasp!) open a door for them. What have we become, people?! This isn’t about an antiquated dating dynamic; this is about kindness and common courtesy. As I was reading, I thought to myself, you know who’s NAILING it at making women feel appreciated, honored and respected through altruistic actions? MOMS, that’s who. Maybe chivalry is dead, but momalvry (word courtesy of yours truly) is all around us and AWESOME. Here are some mom-ified updates to some of the basic tenets of chivalry, with a twist.
- He She opens the door for you. A mom can spot one of their own balancing that ever-awkward infant seat carrier on their forearm from a mile away and she will all but sprint to open that door with a smile on her face. Moms don’t stop at opening the door, though. They will retrieve a dropped paci, lend a hand to pour some goldfish into a snack container, or run and grab you some napkins so that you don’t have to leave your kid alone in the (always broken) restaurant highchair.
- He She compliments you you and your children. Some days we are doing our best just to get out the door semi-clean and in public-appropriate clothing. You know who’s going to tell you those drawstring pants and flip flops look cute, or that you look great even though you haven’t slept in a week? Another mom. And just when you’ve spent a few days thinking you aren’t doing anything right and you are ruining your child (just me?), in swoops another mom to comment on the adorableness of your kid’s newly acquired kiss blowing skill and all is right in the world.
- He She sends flowers snapchats just to let you know he she is thinking of you. There is something so refreshing and uplifting about receiving a snapchat pic or video of another mom’s kid throwing a tantrum, climbing into the fireplace or unrolling an entire roll of toilet paper onto the bathroom floor. These little glimpses are akin to the Katniss salute; we are one in this circus called parenthood. And moms, if you are anything like me, you have NO PROBLEM reciprocating the warm fuzzy on this one.
- He She offers you his jacket a diaper/outfit/sweater when it’s cold ruined by a child. I’m not sure how I keep ending up in public with a fully packed diaper bag with no DIAPERS, but moms have given me wipes and a diaper in a public restroom several times. Out to lunch with friends and you get milk/puke/guacamole all over your shirt? If you’re lunching with a fellow mama, I bet she’s got a cardigan to lend for this very predicament.
- He She is always on time running late. To me, one of the sweetest things moms do for each other is give them some leniency on punctuality. Don’t get me wrong, this should never be abused, but some days it takes 30 minutes to get in the car and that’s not an exaggeration. Apology texts are always appreciated, but not necessary because we get it.
- He She holds the chair out baby for you. Moms can tell that you have spent the day peeling a toddler off of your body every 10 minutes, and their offer to hold and entertain your little one for five minutes is everything. Be careful, sweet mom, or you might be taking that kid home with you.
Keep on killin’ it with kindness, mamas. What are some ways you have been touched by momalvry?